我的桌子下面有一个抽屉，很少打开。
Wǒ de zhuōzi xiàmiàn yǒu yī gè chōuti, hěn shǎo dǎkāi.
Under my desk there is a drawer that I rarely open.
里面放着七封信。
Lǐmiàn fàng zhe qī fēng xìn.
Inside it lie seven letters.
这些信都没有寄出去。
Zhèxiē xìn dōu méiyǒu jì chūqù.
None of these letters was ever sent.
每一封我都记得是什么时候写的。
Měi yī fēng wǒ dōu jìde shì shénme shíhou xiě de.
I remember when each one was written.
最早的一封，是写给父亲的。
Zuì zǎo de yī fēng, shì xiě gěi fùqīn de.
The earliest one was written to my father.
那年我十九岁，跟他吵了一架。
Nà nián wǒ shí jiǔ suì, gēn tā chǎo le yī jià.
That year I was nineteen, and I had a fight with him.
我狠狠地说了他几句，摔门就走了。
Wǒ hěn hěn de shuō le tā jǐ jù, shuāi mén jiù zǒu le.
I said some harsh things to him and slammed the door.
走出很远，我还听见他在后面喊我的名字。
Zǒu chū hěn yuǎn, wǒ hái tīngjiàn tā zài hòumiàn hǎn wǒ de míngzi.
Even far down the road, I could still hear him calling my name behind me.
到了城里，我想写一封信道歉。
Dào le chéng lǐ, wǒ xiǎng xiě yī fēng xìn dàoqiàn.
Once in the city, I wanted to write him a letter of apology.
我写了撕，撕了写，写到后半夜。
Wǒ xiě le sī, sī le xiě, xiě dào hòu bànyè.
I wrote and tore it up, tore it up and wrote, until late into the night.
信写好了，我却不敢寄。
Xìn xiě hǎo le, wǒ què bù gǎn jì.
The letter was finished, but I did not dare send it.
我怕他回信，更怕他不回信。
Wǒ pà tā huíxìn, gèng pà tā bù huíxìn.
I feared his reply, and feared even more that he would not reply.
一个月后，父亲来了电话。
Yī gè yuè hòu, fùqīn lái le diànhuà.
A month later, my father called.
他只说，钱够不够用。
Tā zhī shuō, qián gòu búgòu yòng.
He only asked if I had enough money.
我说够，眼睛就红了。
Wǒ shuō gòu, yǎnjing jiù hóng le.
I said yes, and my eyes went red.
那封信就留在了抽屉里。
Nà fēng xìn jiù liú zài le chōuti lǐ.
So that letter stayed in the drawer.
父亲到今天也不知道有过这封信。
Fùqīn dào jīntiān yě bù zhīdào yǒu guò zhè fēng xìn.
To this day, my father does not know the letter ever existed.
还有一封，是写给一个朋友的。
Hái yǒu yī fēng, shì xiě gěi yī gè péngyou de.
Another one was written to a friend.
我们从小一起长大，后来为了一件事翻了脸。
Wǒmen cóngxiǎo yìqǐ cháng dà, hòulái wèile yī jiàn shì fān le liǎn.
We grew up together, then fell out over one matter.
其实都是小事，谁也不肯先开口。
Qíshí dōu shì xiǎo shì, shéi/shuí yě bù kěn xiān kāi kǒu.
It was really a small thing; neither of us would speak first.
我给他写了一封很长的信。
Wǒ gěi tā xiě le yī fēng hěn cháng de xìn.
I wrote him a very long letter.
信里把我们从小到大的事都写了。
Xìn lǐ bǎ wǒmen cóngxiǎo dào dà de shì dōu xiě le.
The letter wrote down everything from our childhood on.
写完我想，明天就去寄。
Xiě wán wǒ xiǎng, míngtiān jiù qù jì.
When finished, I thought, tomorrow I will send it.
第二天我想，等他先找我吧。
Dì èr tiān wǒ xiǎng, děng tā xiān zhǎo wǒ ba.
The next day I thought, let him come to me first.
一年一年过去，信一直没有寄。
Yī nián yī nián guòqù, xìn yìzhí méiyǒu jì.
Year after year passed, and the letter was never sent.
去年我在街上遇见了他。
Qùnián wǒ zài jiē shàng yùjiàn le tā.
Last year I ran into him on the street.
他老了一些，身边站着两个孩子。
Tā lǎo le yìxiē, shēnbiān zhàn zhe liǎng gè háizi.
He had aged a little, with two children beside him.
我们站在路口说了十分钟。
Wǒmen zhàn zài lùkǒu shuō le shífēn zhōng.
We stood at the crossing and talked for ten minutes.
谁也没有提那件事。
Shéi/shuí yě méiyǒu tí nà jiàn shì.
Neither of us mentioned that matter.
分开的时候，他用力握了握我的手。
Fēnkāi de shíhou, tā yònglì wò le wò wǒ de shǒu.
When we parted, he shook my hand hard.
回家以后，我把那封信拿出来又看了一遍。
Huí jiā yǐhòu, wǒ bǎ nà fēng xìn ná chūlái yòu kàn le yī biàn.
Back home, I took that letter out and read it once more.
看完以后，我把它放回了原来的地方。
Kàn wán yǐhòu, wǒ bǎ tā fàng huí le yuánlái de dìfang.
After reading, I put it back where it had been.
信不用寄了，那件事已经过去了。
Xìn búyòng jì le, nà jiàn shì yǐjīng guòqù le.
The letter no longer needed sending; that matter had passed.
还有一封是写给一位老师的。
Hái yǒu yī fēng shì xiě gěi yī wèi lǎoshī de.
Another was written to a teacher.
中学的时候，她在全班面前批评过我。
Zhōngxué de shíhou, tā zài quán bān miànqián pīpíng guò wǒ.
In middle school, she criticized me in front of the whole class.
我哭了，心里恨了她很多年。
Wǒ kū le, xīnlǐ hèn le tā hěn duō nián.
I cried, and I hated her in my heart for many years.
后来我才知道，她批评我，是因为她在乎我。
Hòulái wǒ cái zhīdào, tā pīpíng wǒ, shì yīnwèi tā zàihu wǒ.
Only later did I learn she criticized me because she cared.
我给她写信的时候，她已经退休了。
Wǒ gěi tā xiě xìn de shíhou, tā yǐjīng tuìxiū le.
When I wrote to her, she had already retired.
信里只有一句谢谢，和一句对不起。
Xìn lǐ zhǐyǒu yī jù xièxie, hé yī jù duìbuqǐ.
The letter held only a thank you and a sorry.
我打听到了她的地址，信都装进了信封。
Wǒ dǎting dào le tā de dìzhǐ, xìn dōu zhuāng jìn le xìnfēng.
I found her address and put the letter into an envelope.
可是我听说，她的眼睛已经看不清字了。
Kěshì wǒ tīngshuō, tā de yǎnjing yǐjīng kàn bù qīng zì le.
But I heard that her eyes could no longer make out words.
我把信留下了，想，找一天去看她吧。
Wǒ bǎ xìn liúxia le, xiǎng, zhǎo yī tiān qù kàn tā ba.
I kept the letter, thinking I would visit her one day.
去年冬天，她走了。
Qùnián dōngtiān, tā zǒu le.
Last winter, she passed away.
听到这个消息，我在窗前站了很久。
Tīng dào zhège xiāoxi, wǒ zài chuāng qián zhàn le hěn jiǔ.
When I heard the news, I stood by the window for a long time.
这三封信，一封比一封重。
Zhè sān fēng xìn, yī fēng bǐ yī fēng chóng.
These three letters, each heavier than the last.
重不在纸上，在没有说出口的地方。
Chóng bù zài zhǐ shàng, zài méiyǒu shuō chūkǒu de dìfang.
The weight is not on the paper but in what was never said aloud.
年轻的时候，我以为什么时候说都不晚。
Niánqīng de shíhou, wǒ yǐwéi shénme shíhou shuō dōu bù wǎn.
When I was young, I thought it was never too late to speak.
以为收信的人会一直在那里等着。
Yǐwéi shōu xìn de rén huì yìzhí zài nàlǐ děng zhe.
I thought the person meant to read it would always be waiting there.
现在我知道了，人会走，时间会走。
Xiànzài wǒ zhīdào le, rén huì zǒu, shíjiān huì zǒu.
Now I know: people leave, and time leaves.
只有抽屉里的信不走。
Zhǐyǒu chōuti lǐ de xìn bù zǒu.
Only the letters in the drawer do not leave.
有的时候我想把它们扔了，手却停住了。
Yǒude shíhou wǒ xiǎng bǎ tāmen rēng le, shǒu què tíng zhù le.
Sometimes I think of throwing them away, but my hand stops.
它们在黑暗里躺着，一年比一年黄。
Tāmen zài hēi’àn lǐ tǎng zhe, yī nián bǐ yī nián huáng.
They lie in the dark, growing yellower year by year.
纸黄了，字还在。
Zhǐ huáng le, zì hái zài.
The paper has yellowed, but the words remain.
它们替我记着我差一点就成为的那个人。
Tāmen tì wǒ jì zhe wǒ chà yī diǎn jiù chéngwéi de nàge rén.
They remember for me the person I almost became.
上个月，我写了第八封信。
Shàng gè yuè, wǒ xiě le dì bā fēng xìn.
Last month, I wrote an eighth letter.
是写给我女儿的。
Shì xiě gěi wǒ nǚ’ér de.
It was for my daughter.
她在很远的城市工作，一年回来两次。
Tā zài hěn yuǎn de chéngshì gōngzuò, yī nián huílái liǎng cì.
She works in a faraway city and comes home twice a year.
我想告诉她，爸爸很想她。
Wǒ xiǎng gàosu tā, bàba hěn xiǎng tā.
I wanted to tell her that her father misses her.
也想告诉她，她做的那些事，我其实很为她高兴。
Yě xiǎng gàosu tā, tā zuò de nàxiē shì, wǒ qíshí hěn wèi tā gāoxìng.
And to tell her that what she has done has made me truly glad for her.
这封信写得很慢。
Zhè fēng xìn xiě de hěn màn.
This letter was written slowly.
写到一半，我停下来想了很久。
Xiě dào yíbàn, wǒ tíng xiàlái xiǎng le hěn jiǔ.
Halfway through, I stopped and thought for a long time.
最后我没有把它放进抽屉。
Zuìhòu wǒ méiyǒu bǎ tā fàng jìn chōuti.
In the end, I did not put it into the drawer.
我走到邮局，把它寄了出去。
Wǒ zǒu dào yóujú, bǎ tā jì le chūqù.
I walked to the post office and sent it.
邮局的人问，寄快的还是慢的。
Yóujú de rén wèn, jì kuài de háishi màn de.
The clerk asked whether to send it fast or slow.
我说，寄慢的。
Wǒ shuō, jì màn de.
I said, send it slow.
慢的便宜，而且，我已经学会等了。
Màn de piányi, érqiě, wǒ yǐjīng xuéhuì děng le.
Slow is cheaper, and besides, I have learned to wait.
可是回家的路上，我一直在想。
Kěshì huí jiā de lùshang, wǒ yìzhí zài xiǎng.
But on the way home, I kept thinking.
她收到信的时候，会是什么表情。
Tā shōudào xìn de shíhou, huì shì shénme biǎoqíng.
What her face would look like when the letter arrived.
一个星期后，女儿来了电话。
Yī gè xīngqī hòu, nǚ’ér lái le diànhuà.
A week later, my daughter called.
她在电话里哭了，说，爸爸，我也想你。
Tā zài diànhuà lǐ kū le, shuō, bàba, wǒ yě xiǎng nǐ.
She cried on the phone and said, Dad, I miss you too.
我说，信收到了就好。
Wǒ shuō, xìn shōudào le jiù hǎo.
I said, as long as the letter reached you, all is well.
放下电话，我打开抽屉，看了看那七封信。
Fàng xià diànhuà, wǒ dǎkāi chōuti, kàn le kàn nà qī fēng xìn.
After hanging up, I opened the drawer and looked at the seven letters.
它们安安静静地躺着，像睡着了一样。
Tāmen ān ānjìng jìng de tǎng zhe, xiàng shuì zhe le yíyàng.
They lay there quietly, as if asleep.
我把抽屉关上，没有开灯。
Wǒ bǎ chōuti guān shàng, méiyǒu kāi dēng.
I closed the drawer without turning on the light.
窗外，月亮很好。
Chuāng wài, yuèliang hěn hǎo.
Outside the window, the moon was fine.