我记日记这件事，是从小学三年级开始的。
Wǒ jì rìjì zhè jiàn shì, shì cóngxiǎo xué sān niánjí kāishǐ de.
This business of keeping a diary started for me in third grade.
那是老师布置的作业。
Nà shì lǎoshī bùzhì de zuòyè.
It was homework assigned by the teacher.
每人一个本子，每天写三行。
Měi rén yī gè běnzi, měi tiān xiě sān xíng.
Everyone got a notebook and wrote three lines a day.
开始的时候，我很讨厌这件事。
Kāishǐ de shíhou, wǒ hěn tǎoyàn zhè jiàn shì.
At the beginning, I hated the task.
上学，放学，吃饭，睡觉。
Shàngxué, fàngxué, chī fàn, shuìjiào.
School, home from school, meals, sleep.
于是我就开始编。
Yúshì wǒ jiù kāishǐ biān.
So I began to make things up.
今天写帮助老人过马路，明天写捡到钱交给警察。
Jīntiān xiě bāngzhù lǎorén guò mǎlù, míngtiān xiě jiǎn dào qián jiāo gěi jǐngchá.
Today I wrote of helping an old person cross the road; tomorrow, of finding money for the police.
编得多了，我自己都不好意思看。
Biān de duō le, wǒ zìjǐ dōu bù hǎoyìsi kàn.
After so much inventing, I was embarrassed to read it myself.
老师在我的本子上批了两个字，不真实。
Lǎoshī zài wǒ de běnzi shàng pī le liǎng gè zì, bù zhēnshí.
The teacher marked two words on my notebook: not true.
我不明白，日记为什么要真实。
Wǒ bù míngbai, rìjì wèi shénme yào zhēnshí.
I did not understand why a diary had to be true.
直到有一天。
Zhídào yǒu yī tiān.
Until one day.
那天我打破了母亲最喜欢的杯子。
Nà tiān wǒ dǎpò le mǔqīn zuì xǐhuan de bēizi.
That day I broke my mother's favorite cup.
我说是风吹的。
Wǒ shuō shì fēng chuī de.
I said the wind had blown it down.
母亲没有说话，把破了的杯子收走了。
Mǔqīn méiyǒu shuōhuà, bǎ pò le de bēizi shōu zǒu le.
Mother said nothing and took the broken cup away.
夜里我睡不着，打开了本子。
Yè lǐ wǒ shuì bù zhe, dǎkāi le běnzi.
That night I could not sleep, so I opened the notebook.
我写，杯子是我打破的。
Wǒ xiě, bēizi shì wǒ dǎpò de.
I wrote: I broke the cup.
我骗了妈妈，心里很难受。
Wǒ piàn le māma, xīnlǐ hěn nánshòu.
I lied to Mom, and my heart felt awful.
写完这几行，心里轻了一些。
Xiě wán zhè jǐ xíng, xīnlǐ qīng le yìxiē.
After writing those lines, my heart felt lighter.
写完以后，那一夜我睡得很好。
Xiě wán yǐhòu, nà yī yè wǒ shuì de hěn hǎo.
After writing, I slept very well that night.
从那天夜里起，日记不再是作业了。
Cóng nà tiān yè lǐ qǐ, rìjì bù zài shì zuòyè le.
From that night on, the diary was no longer homework.
它慢慢变成了我一个不会说话的朋友。
Tā màn màn biànchéng le wǒ yī gè bù huì shuōhuà de péngyou.
It slowly became a friend of mine who cannot speak.
高兴的事，我一条一条写给它。
Gāoxìng de shì, wǒ yī tiáo yī tiáo xiě gěi tā.
Happy things, I wrote to it one by one.
心烦的事，我也一条一条写给它。
Xīn fán de shì, wǒ yě yī tiáo yī tiáo xiě gěi tā.
Troubling things, I also wrote to it one by one.
它不会笑我，也不会告诉别人。
Tā bù huì xiào wǒ, yě bù huì gàosu biérén.
It never laughed at me and never told anyone.
中学六年，我写满了五个本子。
Zhōngxué liù nián, wǒ xiě mǎn le wǔ gè běnzi.
Through six years of middle school, I filled five notebooks.
本子锁在抽屉里，钥匙在我这里。
Běnzi suǒ zài chōuti lǐ, yàoshi zài wǒ zhèlǐ.
The notebooks were locked in a drawer, and the key stayed with me.
我怕人看，又盼人看，这是很矛盾的心事。
Wǒ pà rén kàn, yòu pàn rén kàn, zhè shì hěn máodùn de xīnshì.
I feared being read, yet longed to be read; a very mixed feeling.
其实我们锁住的，常常是想被懂的那部分自己。
Qíshí wǒmen suǒ zhù de, chángcháng shì xiǎng bèi dǒng de nà bùfen zìjǐ.
What we lock away is often the part of us that wants to be understood.
母亲从来不要求看。
Mǔqīn cónglái búyào qiú kàn.
Mother never asked to read them.
她只是在我生日的时候，送我一个新的本子。
Tā zhǐshì zài wǒ shēngrì de shíhou, sòng wǒ yī gè xīn de běnzi.
She only gave me a new notebook on my birthday.
每一个本子的开头，她都替我写下日期。
Měi yī gè běnzi de kāitóu, tā dōu tì wǒ xiě xià rìqī.
At the front of each notebook, she wrote the date for me.
她的字不大，可是一直很稳。
Tā de zì bù dà, kěshì yìzhí hěn wěn.
Her characters were small, but always steady.
上大学那年，我把五个本子带在了身边。
Shàng dàxué nà nián, wǒ bǎ wǔ gè běnzi dài zài le shēnbiān.
The year I left for university, I took the five notebooks with me.
一个人在外面的日子不好过。
Yī gèrén zài wàimiàn de rìzi bù hǎo guò.
Days alone away from home were hard.
冬天没有钱买厚的被子，夜里常常冻醒。
Dōngtiān méiyǒu qián mǎi hòu de bèizi, yè lǐ chángcháng dòng xǐng.
In winter I had no money for a thick quilt and often woke from the cold.
找不着工作的时候，我一天只吃两顿。
Zhǎo bù zhe gōngzuò de shíhou, wǒ yī tiān zhī chī liǎng dùn.
When I could not find work, I ate only two meals a day.
这些我都没有告诉家里。
Zhèxiē wǒ dōu méiyǒu gàosu jiā lǐ.
None of this did I tell my family.
它们都写在日记里。
Tāmen dōu xiě zài rìjì lǐ.
They were all written in the diary.
想家的时候，我就看以前的日记。
Xiǎng jiā de shíhou, wǒ jiù kàn yǐqián de rìjì.
When I missed home, I read my old diaries.
看着看着，就一个人笑了。
Kàn zhe kàn zhe, jiù yī gèrén xiào le.
Reading on, I would smile all by myself.
十五岁的我，为一场球哭了一夜。
Shí wǔ suì de wǒ, wèi yī chǎng qiú kū le yī yè.
At fifteen, I cried a whole night over a ball game.
十七岁的我，恨过坐在我旁边的同学。
Shí qī suì de wǒ, hèn guò zuò zài wǒ pángbiān de tóngxué.
At seventeen, I hated the classmate who sat next to me.
那些天大的事，现在都小了。
Nàxiē tiān dà de shì, xiànzài dōu xiǎo le.
Those enormous matters are all small now.
可是那些小日子，现在都成了宝贝。
Kěshì nàxiē xiǎo rìzi, xiànzài dōu chéng le bǎobèi.
But those small days have now become treasures.
这些年，日记最教我的，是诚实。
Zhèxiē nián, rìjì zuì jiāo wǒ de, shì chéngshí.
All these years, what the diary taught me most is honesty.
对别人，可以只说一半。
Duì biérén, kěyǐ zhī shuō yíbàn.
With others, you can say only half.
可是对日记，这样做不行。
Kěshì duì rìjì, zhèyàng zuò bùxíng.
But with a diary, that will not do.
在日记里骗自己，是最没有意思的事。
Zài rìjì lǐ piàn zìjǐ, shì zuì méiyǒu yìsi de shì.
Lying to yourself in a diary is the most pointless thing.
我把做错的，想错的，都写下来。
Wǒ bǎ zuò cuò de, xiǎng cuò de, dōu xiě xiàlái.
I wrote down what I did wrong and what I thought wrong.
写下来，就等于承认了。
Xiě xiàlái, jiù děngyú chéngrèn le.
Writing it down meant admitting it.
承认了，人才有可能改过来。
Chéngrèn le, réncái yǒu kěnéng gǎi guòlái.
Only after admitting can a person possibly change.
这几年我翻出来看，错的地方都用笔圈了出来。
Zhè jǐ nián wǒ fān chūlái kàn, cuò de dìfang dōu yòng bǐ quān le chūlái.
In recent years I have gone back and circled every error with my pen.
那不是难看，那是走过的路。
Nà bù shì nánkàn, nà shì zǒu guò de lù.
That is not ugliness; that is the road I walked.
后来有了手机，有了电脑。
Hòulái yǒu le shǒujī, yǒu le diànnǎo.
Later came phones, then computers.
朋友都劝我放下笔，打字多快。
Péngyou dōu quàn wǒ fàng xià bǐ, dǎ zì duō kuài.
Friends urged me to drop the pen, since typing is so fast.
屏幕上的字很整齐，很漂亮。
Píngmù shàng de zì hěn zhěngqí, hěn piàoliang.
The words on the screen were neat and pretty.
可是我看不出哪个是我写的。
Kěshì wǒ kàn bù chū nǎge shì wǒ xiě de.
But I could not tell which of them were mine.
手写的不一样。
Shǒu xiě de bù yíyàng.
Handwriting is different.
字大的时候，我是真的高兴。
Zì dà de shíhou, wǒ shì zhēn de gāoxìng.
When the characters were big, I was truly happy.
字又小又挤的时候，是心里有事情。
Zì yòu xiǎo yòu jǐ de shíhou, shì xīnlǐ yǒu shìqing.
When they were small and crowded, something weighed on my heart.
字都站不稳的时候，是我哭了。
Zì dōu zhàn bù wěn de shíhou, shì wǒ kū le.
When the characters could not stand straight, I had been crying.
这些，屏幕都给不了我。
Zhèxiē, píngmù dōu gěi bù le wǒ.
None of this a screen can give me.
纸也不催我，我写多慢都可以。
Zhǐ yě bù cuī wǒ, wǒ xiě duō màn dōu kěyǐ.
Paper does not hurry me either; I can write as slowly as I like.
现在我的桌子上，放着一本新日记。
Xiànzài wǒ de zhuōzi shàng, fàng zhe yī běn xīn rìjì.
Now on my desk lies a new diary.
还是手写，还是每天三行。
Háishi shǒu xiě, háishi měi tiān sān xíng.
Still handwritten, still three lines a day.
儿子问我，写这个有什么用。
Érzi wèn wǒ, xiě zhège yǒu shénme yòng.
My son asks me what use there is in writing it.
我说，现在没有用。
Wǒ shuō, xiànzài méiyǒu yòng.
I say, it is useless now.
等你长到我这把年纪，它才有用。
Děng nǐ cháng dào wǒ zhè bǎ niánjì, tā cái yǒuyòng.
When you reach my age, it will become useful.
今天晚上，我在新的一页上写。
Jīntiān wǎnshang, wǒ zài xīn de yī yè shàng xiě.
Tonight, I write on a fresh page.
今天天气晴，儿子的数学考得不错。
Jīntiān tiānqì qíng, érzi de shùxué kǎo de búcuò.
Today the weather was fine, and my son did well in math.
母亲打电话来，说身体都好。
Mǔqīn dǎ diànhuà lái, shuō shēntǐ dōu hǎo.
Mother called and said her health was fine.
写到这里，我停下来想了想。
Xiě dào zhèlǐ, wǒ tíng xiàlái xiǎng le xiǎng.
Writing this far, I stopped to think.
最后又加了一行。
Zuìhòu yòu jiā le yìxíng.
Then I added one last line.
今天的我，还好。
Jīntiān de wǒ, hái hǎo.
Today, I am all right.
台灯的光落在纸上，黄黄的，暖暖的，很安静。
Táidēng de guāng luò zài zhǐ shàng, huáng huáng de, nuǎn nuǎn de, hěn ānjìng.
The lamp light fell on the paper, yellow, warm, and quiet.